Indented

I’ve been taught too long how to behave

I’m tired of smiling

Of having to bathe

Too long I have pandered and pleased and relented

I yearn for some pleasure – Yet! 

With this I’m indented:

Smile and laugh in all the right places

Say the right things

Make the right faces

Say “Good Morning” and “Thank You” – You have to do that

Can I make you some tea?

Oh no – God won’t like that.

Not to think of myself but always of others

“You look so pretty!”

“Oh this dress…it’s my mother’s”

I give and I give ‘till my lifeblood runs dry

But I don’t expect thanks

I’m just happy to try

I lock up my desires, my wants and my needs

I try to stand strong

But my budding heart bleeds!

I can’t go without – I have to be selfish

I want to be happy

To have the delic-

Iousness life has to offer and taste it all twice!

To be ever so shameless 

Oh! Not to be nice!

To be horrid and nasty and do what I want

Roll around in the dirt

Be flirtatious and flaunt

Every asset I have and not give a fuck

To be raucous and rampant

Common as muck….

But it’s hard to fight off these deep dents in my soul

So I try to be bad

But am good – overall.