I’ve been taught too long how to behave
I’m tired of smiling
Of having to bathe
Too long I have pandered and pleased and relented
I yearn for some pleasure – Yet!
With this I’m indented:
Smile and laugh in all the right places
Say the right things
Make the right faces
Say “Good Morning” and “Thank You” – You have to do that
Can I make you some tea?
Oh no – God won’t like that.
Not to think of myself but always of others
“You look so pretty!”
“Oh this dress…it’s my mother’s”
I give and I give ‘till my lifeblood runs dry
But I don’t expect thanks
I’m just happy to try
I lock up my desires, my wants and my needs
I try to stand strong
But my budding heart bleeds!
I can’t go without – I have to be selfish
I want to be happy
To have the delic-
Iousness life has to offer and taste it all twice!
To be ever so shameless
Oh! Not to be nice!
To be horrid and nasty and do what I want
Roll around in the dirt
Be flirtatious and flaunt
Every asset I have and not give a fuck
To be raucous and rampant
Common as muck….
But it’s hard to fight off these deep dents in my soul
So I try to be bad
But am good – overall.
